The Sleep Situation Continued - SLEEP TRAINING

I just reread my last post about Quincey's sleep habits, or lack thereof.  My, how we have come a long ways in just a couple months but, it has not come without its challenges.  And, when I say challenges I mean some downright dirty challenges both physically and emotionally.

Joe and I decided that after vacation to Wyoming it was time to employ some sleep training.  I could no longer go on doing what I was doing.  

Up to this point we had fallen into the reactive co-sleeping method.  Not out of choice but out of pure necessity.  I was spending the majority of my nights (and days for that matter) walking endlessly in our bedroom with Quincey in my arms, going shhh shhh shhh, until finally after around 40 minutes she would fall asleep enough to attempt to put her down.  But, things never ended there, putting her down was usually a bust and before I could ninja my way out of the room without making a noise, she had already stirred, lost her binki, and was on her way to being full blow awake.  So, I would turn around, completely exhausted, and start the process all over again.  I did this so often and racked up so many steps walking back and forth in our bedroom with her that the desperation led me to believe the stupidest things.  For example, I was convinced she liked the left side of the room more than the right but not too far to the left because then the air from the ceiling vent might hit her face and disturb her, she didn't like the sound the floor made near the bathroom, the sound machine sounded best when she was in the far right hand corner of the room, she liked to be rocked in the rocking chair only when her eyes started to close, not before, or not after, and she didn't like one long shhhhh but rather three short shhh shhh shhh's.  It was getting absolutely ridiculous.  Usually, after the third time of doing all of this she would stay asleep long enough for me to slip into bed and settle in for a couple hours before, yes you've got it, she would notoriously awake again.  The time I spent in that room trying to perfect this sleep procedure started to become like a torture chamber.  

I especially dreaded nap time. Without the natural sleep drive that nights provide, naps proved especially difficult.  It wouldn't have been so bad if all my effort would have paid off but, the discouragement I was feeling time after time when Quincey would wake up after only a 30 minute nap was proving too much for me to take.  I was literally spending more time getting her to sleep then she was actually sleeping.  And then of course, with only a 30 minute naps, she would start rubbing her eyes again in an hour and I would know that I would shortly have to make that track up the stairs with her again to start over.

 For the last month Joe had been sleeping in the spare room because, there seemed no other option than to finally just hold Quincey in bed all night with me.  Then I could pop her binki back in her mouth every time it fell out while trying to get some much needed sleep myself.  With allowing her in the bed with me, I was able to maintain some sort of sanity for the upcoming day.... but just barely. 

Month after month of all this was a mixture for disaster.  And disaster finally struck.  I told Joe that I was no longer treading water, I was full blown drowning and could absolutely not do this anymore.  I was so drained and exhausted that I was emotional and angry.  I remember being at my dad's house for vacation and feeling jealousy toward the stupid cat because I would see the cat sleeping and I didn't get to.  My dad would say, "well, I'm going to bed guys and I would cringe inside just wishing that could be me.  And seeing Joe sleep started to make me see red.  It also started to take a toll on me physically.  Because I was so sleep deprived, my immune system was so shot that just when I thought i couldn't take anything else, I developed mestitas. 

This had to be the beginning of the end.  There was literally no other option than to start sleep training.  

I did my due diligence and scoured the internet to learn about all the different sleep training methods out there.  Everything from the Ferber method to the Chair method.  But, without fail, every actual human that I talked to who has a child all told me to use the same method.  The good ol' Cry It Out method.  

I wanted to start with the Ferber method which is going in to comfort her after 3 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 10 and so on and so forth until she falls asleep.  Joe and I had unknowingly used this approach a few time before when I had tried to implement some self soothing training with Quincey.  It never worked though.  It seemed like her seeing me every few minutes just stimulated her even more.  But, I wasn't ready to just let her cry it out yet.  At least that's what I thought.

Three days before we were going to begin sleep training, it was the middle of the night, Joe was in the spare room sleeping and there was nothing I could do to keep Quincey settled.  Finally, at 2am I decided to put her in her bassinet and I left the room.  I couldn't do it anymore.  Quincey cried straight for 3 hours.  She finally drifted to sleep at 5:15am.  Even after all that crying she only stayed asleep for an hour but, there was no turning back from that point on.  

It was going to be the cry it out method and it was going to start now. I figured if we were going to do this, we might as well rip the band-aid off completely and transition her to her crib as well.

The first night Quincey cried for about an hour but after that, she stayed asleep for longer than she ever did when I would pace the floor with her.  The next night it took even less time, the third night she ampted up her game again and cried for quite a while, but after that night, she started to finally sleep and I started to feel a sense of peace and like a human being again.  It was SOOO freeing.  

Grace kept telling me to PUT HER IN HER OWN ROOM! SHe swore that she would sleep better and so would we.  I really didn't want to because the powers that be say that she should sleep in the same room as her parents until at least 6 months to prevent SIDS.  But after two nights of sleeping training, once she had fallen asleep, we were so worried to jinx it and wake that Joe opted to sleep in the spare room, and I was so worried to even roll over in bed that I would go downstairs to the couch to sleep.  Grace said, "Tara, how stupid is that!  Quincey is fast asleep in your guys' room while you guys aren't even sleeping in the same room as her anyway.  Put her in her own room!" Here was Quincey, fast asleep in our beautiful bedroom while Joe slept in the spare room alone and I slept on a couch.  Joe never quite understood why I was adamant that she stay in our room and later told me he was very relieved when Grace vocalized what he had been wondering for week.  Then she also said something else that was quite genius and so obvious but I had never thought of it, She said, "just put her in her own room, leave her bedroom door open and leave your bedroom door open and we are still literally within like 12 feet of her."  DUH!  That was all I needed to hear  So, without anymore hesitation, I broke down her crib yet again and moved it back into her own room.

Since that day 3 weeks ago, Quincey has been sleeping in her big girl crib in her big girl room and she has never slept better and my quality of life has improved 10 fold.  I am a human again.

And oh, by the way, it only took one night before Quincey's door started to remain closed for the night.  

She still wakes up a couple times a night but I don't mind it.  I don't mind getting up to nurse her a little because I can just give her one quick snuggle, lay her back down, and she falls right back to sleep again.  

We still have some things to work out like she still won't nap longer than 30 minutes and she wakes up awfully early in the morning (5am) but those are such minor issues compared to what we were dealing with.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of her sleeping in her crib.  We have a camera set up in her room that I can take pictures with from my phone.  

In this first picture she has rolled back over to her back from her belly but got her arm pinned underneath herself and couldn't get it out so she just decided to play with the crib slats with the one free hand she did still have.

This next picture was just last night. She was just hanging out with her butt in the air fully awake, not making a peep.  

And finally, she sleeps....  My precious girl.

Onward To Solid Foods!

 Because of Quincey's troubles staying asleep, we decided to introduce formula to her at night time to see if that would satiate her a little more and get her a better night's sleep.  She has never spend time eating for comfort so my ability to feed her a little to calm her down, make sure she is full, and sooth her to sleep has never been an option and, quite frankly, she is too busy to spend much time eating.  She has always been quick to get the job done and move onto the next order of business so.  She quick quick slurps it down until she is full and then wants nothing to do with it.  (Wouldn't it be nice if more of us were like that!) Because of this, I was leary that she wouldn't be interested in a bottle substituted with formula but, to my surprise.  She loves her nightly bottle.  She gulps it down with no problem.

So, we decided to introduce rice cereal to her.  I actually had a bunch of food given to me and for her first solid food, she didn't get rice cereal although that's what I thought it was.  She got oatmeal.  Since then, she gets her baby cereal in the morning and is getting somewhat better at figuring out the spoon thing.  It takes her a while but after a few bites of more food coming out of her mouth than staying in, she gets the hang of it.  

Here is a video of her first ever time eating solids.  She did better than the next video... Must have been beginners luck!

It's been so fun to make these transitions with her.  It is just so hard to believe still that we had a baby and that, what seems like within a blink of an eye she is eating with a spoon!

Quincey LOVES To Laugh And Smile

 I just love this little video of her laughing.  

This was right after we got home from vacation and she was so happy to be out of the car.

And the smiles... I don't know how she knows how to ham it up for the camera but she sure does.  She is a very happy baby.

I can ROLL OVER!!!

 Major milestone alert!!!

Long ago Quincey learned how to roll from her belly to her back which they say is much easier and typically happens before rolling from back to belly.

Now she can roll from her back to her belly now.  The first time it happened I was upstairs taking a much needed mommy break while Joe was watching her downstairs.  She was refusing to go to sleep (around the time we were getting rid of the swaddle) and I was so exhausted and frustrated that Joe took over for a bit.  He had her in her play pen and out of nowhere... she flipped herself onto her belly!  It took about another week before I was able to catch her doing it.  And, about another week before she was doing it all the time.

But... just about the same time she learned to roll over, she forgot how to flip from her belly to her back!!! So now, she loves being on her belly and sleeps that way but when she wakes up she becomes frustrated because she can't get back over! 😕  Silly kid.  She'll remember soon enough, I'm sure.

Our First Family Vacation

Last week we got to go on our first family vacation.  We would have went earlier but Covid has still had us under lock and key.  We planned a time when we assumed the manor would be open so Quincey could meet grandma Esther.  It's obviously a really big deal when you have a baby for your parents to meet your new little one.  I think, especially if you are a daughter it's even more important for your own mom to see you as a mom and meet your little one.  Unfortunately, the manor was still closed.  

But, what's second best to your mom meeting your little one?  Your sister!  Dessa still hadn't gotten to meet Quincey either.  She was planning a trip to Albuquerque right after I gave birth but, alas, once again Covid played her hand.  So, even though we knew that we would have to deal with the heartbreak of being so close to grandma but not getting to see her, we were super super super excited for Auntie Dessa to meet her.

I started making lists two weeks before we left of things we would need to bring.  My, how traveling with a baby is different than traveling alone!  The pack n/ play, the bouncy seat, the breast pump, the diapers, the nose bulb.  The list seemed to go on and on.  But, we got all packed up and hit the road an hour and a half late!  (I'm never late to leave.  Another adjustment to having a baby.)

We made the long track to Greeley to Auntie Grace's house for the night.  Quincey did an amazing job!  She only got fussy a couple time.  

It was the first time EVER Quincey had been in someone else's house and, of course, she was a live wire!  She also got to be introduced to her first doggy and kitty cat.  But, what she liked most was their fish tank.  She was mesmerized with their live rock and clown fish.  She could have stared at it all night.  

The next day everyone loaded up, including the Logan's to head for Newcastle.  They were on their way to camp for the week in the Black Hills.  Dessa had left bright and early.  Well, I think she actully left before it was even bright because it was so early it was still dark!  Anyhow, Dessa and Sophia left from Coeur D 'Alane that morning as well.  Warren, Asher, and Uncle Chris couldn't come because they were in Alaska fishing.  

Finally, after a long day of traveling for everyone, we all made it to Newcastle.  How special it was to see my big sister meet Quincey.  I have always been in love with my nieces and nephews and cherished my role as Auntie but to see the tides turn and watch my big sister be the auntie while I got to be the mommy was super special.

We got to stay there for most of the week.  Each day we made our way up to Breaver Creek where the Logan's were camping to spend time with them and ended our evenings at mom and dad's house.

Dessa, Joe, my dad, and I got to play pinochle one night which was really fun.  We got smoked but had a good time giving it our best shot.  

Dessa got to spend lots of time snuggling Quincey.  And, Sophia, well, Quincey just loved her!  Sophia had her laughing like I have never seen her laugh before.  She loves her cousin, that's for sure.  

Joe and I took Quincey to the LAK to do some fishing one morning.  That was fun!  Quincey got to touch her first fish and saw her first crawdad.  I love the evolving expression on her face as she sees the fish and then touches it....

Of course I got sentimental sharing my home and places like the LAK with my new family.  I am so blessed to have grown up in essentially only one place and STILL get to go home to the same place.  I mean, I sit on the back deck and see the same view I've been seeing for 30 years, I sleep in the same bedroom.  I got to a place like the LAK and am flooded with memory after memory of that place and now, here I am, with my husband and daughter; sharing it with them.  I have may have been late to the party but I made it!

We also had our first babysitting experience.  We planned to drop Quincey off with Auntie Grace so we could have some quality mommy and daddy time.  We decided to go fishing.  I caught 2 fish!  We had an absolute blast and, although I thought about her, I wasn't worried at all about Quincey.  It was so nice to have some adult time alone.

I was glad that we got to spend time with my dad.  I had no false sense that it would not be hard to be in Newcastle with my mom literally just across town behind a cement wall and not be able to see her.  It was horribly hard. I cried many tears and start crying just thinking of it.  It wasn't just hard.  It was pretty gut wrenching.  I do not know how my dad has the strength to go every day that close to her yet unable to see her, hug her, or hold her hand.  I take comfort being this far away knowing that even if I wanted to see her I can't because of pure distance.  I don't know how he goes every day not having that physical distance keeping him away but still not being able to see her.  It just sucks.  There's no getting around that.  Anyhow, I was glad we could be there with my dad and provide him some quality family time during such a trying time.  

But, the week came to an end quicker than we wanted and we inevitably had to start our way back home.  As great as it was to get away, it was very nice to be in our own space and get settled back into a routine.

I hope that Quincey grows to love her trips to Wyoming just as much as I do it.  Wyoming will always and forever be "home" for this mamma.  

Finally, some lingering pictures that I just love.