It's your BIRTHDAY, Quincey Bug!!!

 Here we are.... 1 whole year later!  Happy birthday to the most amazing, smart, cute, and adventurous little one year old I know!  And, I get to be your mommy!  How blessed am I?  Well, let me answer that question.  More blessed than I ever imagined I would be and more blessed than I surely deserve but God is good and I have a healthy, beautiful, thriving little girl that came from my tummy. And a husband who is just as amazing.  I mean, read the blog before this one. Need I say more about how amazing your daddy is!?!

Quincey, you have officially turned my world upside down.  And, I think I've landed on my feet and am now stronger than I was before you came along.  It's true when they say that babies probably teach the parents more than we teach the babies.  I have learned a lot of things about myself this last year that I had no idea before.  For example, I had no idea what it meant to be sleep deprived and how precious sleep truly is until you came along. We have enough blog posts about that subject so I'll just move on from there.  

I have also learned what a mother's love feels like. It is unlike anything you can experience in any other way.  I mean, us mom's carry you in our belly's for months and then when you're born we bond from sunrise to sunset (and even in the middle of the night too {unfortunately}! :) with our little ones.  You quite literally didn't even know you were a different person then me until around 6 months old.  You actually thought I was you and that makes for a pretty special relationship between a mamma and her baby.  Also, I had no idea how much I expect things to go a certain way, the way I envision they will go, and how hard it is for me to adjust when things don't go that exact way.  This has been a bit of a learning curve for me that I definitely didn't expect.  Like when you didn't nap the way I expected or Christmas wasn't exactly the way I thought it would go because I have a little baby that didn't read my script.  I never realized that I relied so much on these expectations before but you have taught me that I can be more flexible. Your resilience has been contagious for me.

 I have also learned that I'm stronger then I give myself credit for and I owe that to you.  Without having you as the motivating factor, I'm not sure I would try quite as hard as I do.  I want to be better for you (and for your daddy).  I want you to be happy and that starts with giving you a happy and firm foundation.  And how could I not be happy when I am literally getting to live out my dream.  I know I have said it before but, I always dreamed of finding your daddy, getting married, and having our baby.  Not only did I find your daddy but somehow I convinced him to love me back and want to marry me and have a baby with me!  So, now that I have my dream, I want to give you the best start possible for you to achieve your dreams.

Lets go over some of my favorite things about this last year.  In no particular order, here are the top 5....

1.  I loved sharing your with my family over the last year.  I'm not sure why but it gives me such joy to see you with the ones in my life that are most important to me.  It's like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Peanut butter is good on its own and jelly is good on its own but put them together and you having something real special.  Now, this is not to say that you aren't special on your own but that's the beauty of family and the reason we like to get together with them.  It's a different kind of special.

2.  I loved mornings together in bed as a family.  You would wake up and I would bring you into bed with me and papa.  Papa would always play this fun game with you-even before you could sit up on your own.  He would say, "Quincey Sheridan Schroeder, I have a mission for you.  Are you ready for your mission?"  And then he would wait for you to make a movement or sound and take that as a yes.  Then he would say, "You are to fly to the planet mars (or wherever he would come up with) and collect 8 sandals for your mom.  ARE YOU READY???"  So here's the thing, originally when he started doing this he was saying samples but I always thought he was saying sandals so one time I asked him why sandals and it was then that he clarified the truth.  It was originally soil samples.  But, after that he just started telling you to collect sandals for your mom.  Then after you would accept your mission, he would hold you up in the air and fly you around the bed and I would become the "Kissy Monster" and every time you flew close to me I would get you and kiss you.  Finally, he would land you back on his lap saying, "beep beep beep" and have you step off of the space craft and give mamma your sandals.  It's the best but now you're getting too big for it and just want to crawl all over us when you come to bed with us.  

3.  Our daily walks and Stinker.  I don't think I've ever shared the Stinker story.  So here goes... When you were still in my tummy, papa used to tell you stories at night and one night he made up a story about a skunk named Stinker that lived in the cotton grove down by our house.  He would tell you that Stinker was a lonely skunk that was so hungry and always thirsty and he would spend all his time searching for food and water.  He would say, "And Stinker would go sniffin' and sneakin' and sneakin' and sniffin' around for food all night long."  The story actually has a pretty bad ending as papa would get quite creative and talk about how Stinker would fall into delirium due to dehydration and start to hallucinate and eventually die but we never shared that part with you once you were born :).  However, every time we go on a walk we walk by that cottonwood grove and I always tell you to say hi to your "best buddy" Stinker and tell him you love him and wish him luck on finding his grasshoppers.  You will probably have some weird subconscious association with those cottonwood trees the older you get and have no idea why you feel a certain way towards them!

4.  How you finally come running into my arms.  Oh the wonderful feeling I get deep down in my bones when you come, arms stretched out to me, wanting up; especially when you just got a bonk and need a little mamma love to get you though it.  It is the most sweetest purest feeling in the world.  I can't resist it and literally want to melt into a big puddle of mushy squishy love when it happens.  

5.  Your giggle.  There is no better sound in the world.  I absolutely love your giggle.  It makes my heart want to squeeze you and squeeze you and kiss you and kiss you and hold you so tight.  I CAN NOT get enough of it.

Oh Quincey, my bug, BG Schroeder, butt-cheek baby, cutest baby in the world, there are so many more things I could mention, like A LOT of things I love about you, but it would end up a novel and not a blog post!

I love you and am so proud to be your mom.

From Dad

Hi Quincey,

This is your Dad. I’ve been accumulating a lot of things to share with you. They are very special things, not the kind you can touch, but the kind you can hold close to you. I guess that’s kind of a riddle, huh? Maybe, if I’m as good a writer as your Mom, or my Dad, for that matter, you’ll know the answer to the riddle at the end (or I’ll just sneak it in there ;-).

But first we need to decide where to start. A great story I know of (and will share with you one day) begins by saying, when we’re not sure where to start, we should always start at the beginning. I subscribe to that in all things so let’s start at the beginning, your beginning. 

You were born on March 15, 2020. Your Auntie Grace was with your Mamma and me at the hospital and, as your Mamma likes to say, she knew you were here because she saw your Auntie Grace start crying with happiness and then saw me doing the same. Your Mamma tells you the story all the time and, when she tells it, it’s a very funny story, but also a very true story. We were all very happy to welcome you into this world and, although we didn’t know all of the wonderful ways you would change our lives, we knew you were a very special gift to be cherished. I will add that you have a very special Auntie Grace, but that will be in a different story.

Now, by all measures, I’d be considered a paranoid Papa. My first instinct when you were born was to shade your eyes from the light within the birthing room because, as I reasoned it, you’d never seen direct light before, so your eyes would hurt if someone didn’t shade them. Keeping you safe has always been, and will always be, the first box to check on my ever growing checklist. I guess we might as well add that I’m not a single minded protectionist,… having been a baby once myself, I know there are some not so fun things we are supposed to go through when we are young, agile, and seemingly endlessly healable. Those bonks need to happen but, even then, I still try to make sure the lessons they impart are always bigger than the bonk itself.

Once the protective Papa box was checked by your Mamma and I, the next box is to make you smile. That box is the BEST, because just looking at you makes your Mamma and I smile and, most of the time, you see that we’re happy and you smile right back at us. The next box,… giggles. That one’s the second BEST because, whether it be whirly birds, playing chase/tag, tickle torture, peekaboo, or the boatloads of other ways we find the giggles and screeches, it’s one of our great joys.

Of course, we also like to mix in lots and lots of study time. That’s also a very fun box to check off because we get to see and participate in your process of putting the pieces of your/our world together. Your Momma and I are both in a regular state of amazement and appreciation as we watch you learn cause and effect and, as an ecologist, I have to admit I just marvel at how you seamlessly and fearlessly process and include whatever new angle or twist that I continuously throw at the things you’re used to seeing a certain way. You make me such a proud Dad, in every way.

Now I’m going to tell you a secret (and everything from here on out is the most important part). You see, for over a year now, I’ve been watching your Mom chronicle your life for you in this blog.. but something’s always been missing. It’s the most special thing in your life, something that you have never been without for more than a couple hours, and it’s something that would shake and tear the entire world to get to you if you were/are ever in trouble… it’s your Mom. We need a blog post to honor your Mom, and that’s my Birthday gift to you.

We’ll start from the beginning… but this story is a little different from the one I described above. You see, your umbilical cord was getting pinched when you were being born and your heart rate started dropping. I was watching the monitors and the nurses while all of this was happening and one thing was clear, we needed to push the fast forward button to get you into this world, immediately. I was next to your Momma and, when I told her it was time to push, and harder, harder, harder, she pushed and pushed, tearing herself badly, but getting you into this world safely.

We got you home and that’s when your Mom became MOM. If you rustled, she was there for you, if you whimpered, she held you, when you were congested (and your paranoid Papa was always worried about this!), she cleared your sinuses, when you were hungry, she fed you. This is all Mamma stuff though, right? It is,.. but there’s something more to it. Your Mamma never said “no”, never said “not now”, or “I’m too tired” or any other rationale that a Mamma says when self-preservation becomes the prime operative. From your first day, and every day since, you have been the most important thing in this world to your Mom and she has treated you as such so incredibly consistently that it’s remarkable (and she has been just as remarkable as a Wife). So, that was the starting point for your Mom and you… and it’s been my pleasure and pride to watch it grow into everything that she does with you.

I remember, before you could even roll over, your Mom taking you around the house and constantly stretching her imagination to keep you engaged with your surroundings and learning new things. That daily exercise would intuitively become a bit easier as you have developed into the inquisitive and, more and more, self-reliant and self-entertained wonder that you are. But that doesn’t stop your Mom from continually challenging herself and you with new activities and exploring new ways to get you engaged in the world around you. And the patience… all you have to do is bring her a book, even if it’s the same darn book twenty times in a row, and you have a front row seat, in her lap, as she reads you that book, over and over again, until you get up [and seemingly randomly] pick up another book and bring it to her. If it’s for your good, the curtain never closes with Mom…

I also need to tell you how much you’ve been escorted around our neighborhood by your Mom. Nearly every day, since you were almost too tiny to move, your Mom takes you for a walk in your stroller, up a hill to the end of our neighborhood, back down to a park down the street [where you picnic] and back home. Like clockwork, regardless of sleep deprivation/weariness, and in nearly any weather, you get your daily walk with Mom.

And then there’s your tubby time and pool time (ie hot tub [ie warm tub]). Every single night, except when we were fighting back eczema, you and Mom have a tubby time, with lots of pool time mixed in. It started as a nighttime routine so you would naturally start moving into a nighttime/bedtime cycle but it’s become a special time for Mom and you. Like everything I’m describing for you, I get to be a part of tubby time/pool time (not nearly all the time, but some of the time), and there’s something very special about tubby time. It’s about the purest form of every-day peace and love between your Mom and you that I get to see and be a part of. It was the same when you were a tiny little thing in Mom’s lap in the tub as when you’re in there alone with Mom on the side, playing with all of your tub toys with you; pure harmony.

Finally, I need to tell you about something that’s hard in the telling but is also important for you to know. It’s about your Grandma Taylor; or as I know her, Esther. Esther was the most kindhearted Grandma that ever walked this earth. I know that because more kindness would be impossible. She was a blessing to all and she knew you before you were born but passed onto what’s ahead of all of us before you could really get to know her as your Grandma. Your Mom and your Grandma were as close as any mother and daughter and, like your Mom wrote, your Grandma would have been SO PROUD of you and your Mom, just like I am.

The importance of (and our love for) your Grandma stands on its own in these things I’m sharing with you but, like any good story, there’s more; and it leads back to what a special Mom YOU have. From before you were born until your Grandma passed, regardless of how painful it was, how tired she was, or if she felt weak or emotional and a stiff breeze might knock her over, your Mom would call your Grandma every single night when your Grandma was sick to let her know how much we loved her and to try to make her transition into what lied ahead as painless as possible. It didn’t matter if there was a long string of painful or heartbreaking calls, your Mom would walk through fire to let her Mom know how much she loved her. Your Mom loved her Mom fiercely, bravely, and without condition, Quincey Sheridan Schroeder; just like she loves you and me (and shows us every day). That is the greatest gift we could ever ask for and I wanted to make sure you know just how special your Mom is and how lucky we are to have her Love.

So, your Mom is the secret I wanted to share with you for your Birthday and her fierce, unconditional love is the answer to the riddle.

 .. and Tara, I love you deeply and fiercely and am SO PROUD of you. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Dad

My First Pig Tails

 Quincey hair is finally long enough to put into pig tails.  I couldn't wait to get the rubber bands and see how they would look.  Luckily she doesn't tug on them or try to take them out.  She is so darn cute in them!  I just can't get enough of her!

Bikes and Trailers

 I have been wanting to get a bike so I could hitch a bike trailer for Quincey onto it.  Great exercise for me and great fun for her.  This weekend Joe made it happen.  We found a cheap used bike on Craig's List and order the trailer.  Joe spent a good deal of time fixing up the bike and after his hard work, we were good to go!  Quincey seems to really like it and I LOVE it!  What fun.  We went out this weekend to a bike trail and spent time exploring and taking turns toting our little girl around.  I must say, she's got a pretty good life.  Currently, her biggest complains would likely be having to take naps and go to bed and having to come inside.  She got to be outside almost all weekend and still didn't want to come in.  She just can't get enough of it.

Rio Grande Fun

 This last weekend we went with some friends on a path along the Rio Grande.  Quincey always loves being outside and was thrilled when she got to venture into the water.  What a mess but what fun!

ZOO TIME!

 Quincey and I were invited by a friend that we met at centering birthing classes to go to the Zoo.  I was very excited to take her and a little bummed it wasn't a family affair with Joe attending but, I wasn't going to pass up on the opportunity to go so, off we went!  

Quincey saw many animals but seemed to be more interested in touching the fencing around them and I'm not sure if she really even cared much about the animals in all honesty.

But what she did love.... the free ranging geese!  We stopped to in the middle of the zoo to eat lunch and laid out blankets.  Roaming around were tons of geese and it took Quincey no time at all to start chasing them.  But it also took her no time at all time find all the goose poop on the ground.  So, lunch was full of chasing Quincey as she chased the geese and trying to get her to leave the goose poop alone which, was not fully successful as I caught her eating some of it.  Well, she took a bite of it, turned to look at me with disgust, and waited for me to wipe it off her tongue.  At least she didn't like it!

All in all, the zoo was a ton of fun and I'm sure as Quincey gets older and can actually spot the animals behind their fences she was love it too!

Quincey gets to go to Lowes!

I really needed to get some stuff from Lowes and with covid number pretty low, we decided it was time to stick our feet in the water and take Quincey with us.  I was so excited to put her in the cart and she just loved it.  She loved looking at all the people and all the things.  It felt so good to be a a normal family just browsing in Lowes.  Well, I'm not sure if wearing masks will ever feel normal so there's that but, small price to pay in our quest to keep Quincey covid free.  

The Original Binki

 So, here's how the story begins...

Not long before giving birth to Quincey, I was told (I can't remember by who) that giving a baby a pacifier, AKA a binki, would be counterproductive and potential create nipple confusion causing her to not want to nurse.  I had never heard this before and had already gotten binkis for her but, alas, I took all that i read and heard as facts rather than suggestions so therefore, we weren't going to give Quincey a binki.  

However, before she was even born, in all of her ultrasounds, she was either sucking on her thumb or sucking on the placenta.  Within minutes of being born, she began to suck on her thumb which, interestingly enough, she has never done since but, she was obviously a "sucker" and took to breast feeding quite well.  

I think it was the second day in the hospital when we asked one of the nurses if they had a pacifier.  I hadn't even packed on in the hospital bag because I didn't think we would use them.  The nurse looked at us with disdain and stated that they really frown upon them being used but if we insisted she could try to see if she could find one.  Of course, we immediately backed down and put the idea out of our heads.

So that was were the story ends until you fast forward to our second day of being home...

I was napping and Joe was watching Quincey for the first time with me out of the picture.  When I woke up and ventured out of my room, low and behold.... There was Quincey being held by her daddy with a binki in her mouth!  She was sucking away on it and was happy as could be.  Joe just turned to me and said, "Sorry honey.  I had to.  She kept just wanting something to suck on." Joe found them in the drawer in her room, opened the package, and gave her the first one he saw.  It was bright pink. 

I had no complaints and it became apparent very quickly that giving Quincey a binki caused no nipple confusion as she still nursed just fine.  

And, ever since, binkis have been a saving grace for us.  She only gets them when it's sleep time and I can't say I'm looking forward to take them away from her but they have proved to be a very useful tool for us.

Being as sentimental as I am, I was pretty bummed with I couldn't find the original binki months after she had it.  She had an original blue, green, pink, and purple binki.  Once she had to move on to bigger binkis I packaged the all those others up and put them in her special box.  I have looked and looked for that pink binki and have since kept my eye out for it to no avail. Until....

Last weekend Quincey was walking around in our back yard playing in dirt, crawling over rocks, picking up sticks when I happened to look and, to my amazement, there was her binki!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I couldn't believe it.  It had obviously been out there for months which was apparent by the disappearance of the bright pink and the dirt that had embedded it's way in.  But who cares... It's been located and I was thrilled.  It's now safe and sound with all her other original binkis.