I have spent a lot of a time babysitting, being an auntie, and was even a nanny in Florida but that does not prepare you for 24 hour care giving of an infant! - and I wouldn't trade it for the world!
But, the first couple days didn't come without their struggles. Again, thank God for my amazing husband and for my wonderful sister who both comforted me as I dealt with raging hormones while trying to adjust those first couple days. I was a blubbering mess numerous times throughout the days. I just wanted to do everything right which ended up coming with no sleep and learning curves every step of the way.
She was so little and I was so worried that I was going to do something wrong that I wasn't letting myself trust my instincts. If she was fussy, I was worried that I would harm her to feed her before the "scheduled feeding time." And, there were tons of little things that I was all consumed with like one of the pediatricians at the hospital said they should sleep in swaddles and I had asked if that is all she should sleep, meaning should I put her in an outfit under the swaddle, and they said yes, that she should only sleep in a swaddle so I was all worried about putting a onesie on her under the swaddle but I think what the pediatricians were referring to is not having bedding in her crib as it could suffocate her. So, I spent all my time overthinking every little thing instead of doing what I instinctively knew to do.
And, where to put her to sleep? I mean, she has been crammed in my uterus for 9 months and now I'm supposed to put her in a different room in this big ol' crib to sleep!?! Luckily Joe's mom bought us a beautiful bassinet to sleep her in that is in our room and we tried that but as soon as we would put her down, she would fuss. His brother and sister in law got us a small sleeper that goes in the bed with us but keeps her safe with borders around her which has been life saving. At first when we tried it, she didn't like it but once we realized it had a piece of uncomfortable cardboard in it that needed to be removed she loved it! She sleeps close enough to us that she sleeps without having to be held and is safe in the process. Until we figured that out though, sleep was a distant memory!
After two nights of like no sleep cause Quincey wouldn't sleep without being held, I finally had a breakdown with my sister, Dessa, on the phone who basically told me to throw the books out the window and do what felt right. So, I went downstairs and told Joe what I needed and he made it happen. I needed lights left on in the bedroom so I could see her, I needed to have her closer to me, and I needed to figure out a way to get her to sleep safely yet near us. Once we made these changes I felt so much better and I think that translated to Quincey. I finally got sleep and, as a new family, we finally started to carve out a new normal for our little family.
Coming home finally!
I had been up all night. My shirt was on inside out and backwards and, ironically, its tag says, "AWAKE"
No comments:
Post a Comment