Wednesday, July 1, 2020

The Sleep Situation

Oh the good old days when sleep was an actual thing that I actually got to do.  Those day are but a distant fond memory.
Look how she's holding my finger:)

Quincey has never been the typical baby that sleeps sleeps sleeps.  Everything you read on a newborn talks about how they will sleep for hours at a time and just sort of exist like a lump on a log for the first couple months.  This has never been the case for our little Quinney.  I remember her first appointment with the pediatrician who couldn't believe how alert she was and that she was awake and looking around during the whole appointment.  I told her that this was not abnormal.  She told me that soon her awake/alert time would stretch to approximately an hour.  I don't remember Quincey ever NOT having at least an hour of alert time between naps.  And speaking of naps, Quincey has never taken those long 3 hour nap stretches like all the books I read said she would.  All the sleep schedules, eating schedules and play schedules are written on the premise that your baby sleeps all the time and in 3 hour lump sessions.  So, given the fact that Quincey rarely sleeps longer than 45 minutes per nap, all those schedules were never able to happen.

And lets talk about HOW she sleeps.  Because she has always been extremely active and always moving, we have had to work very hard on getting her to slow down and quiet her body enough to sleep.  Which means swaddling her has been an essential sleeping aid for us.  Imagine trying to get someone to go to sleep who is in the middle of running a marathon.  There's just now way, so getting her in that swaddle means that she finally stops moving enough to relax and take that little 30 minute catnap. 

So you can imagine the daunting feeling that has been lurking around the corner as she gets closer and closer to not being able to wear a swaddle due to safety reasons.  Once they are able to roll over, you can't swaddle them because you don't want them to roll over and not have free hands.  Rolling over happens around 4 months.  Quincey is currently 3 1/2 months.  She has also gotten to the point where she will fight like hell to get out of that swaddle.  Thus, she is showing all the signs that it is ready to put the swaddle to bed for good.  But doing that has come with challenges and then add on to that the notorious 4 month sleep regression that's currently happening and we have quite the sleep deprivation situation in full bloom.

There's no way I can just completely do away with the swaddle.  I mean, I suppose I could but that just doesn't seem very realistic.  Let me tell you... the baby business definitely capitalizes on sleep deprived parents.  Last week I was willing to do whatever it took to garner some sleep for both me and baby but the swaddle wasn't working and she would spend all her time fighting and fighting to get out of it.  So, I went to the nearest baby store and picked up a "transition swaddle" which looks like a flying squirrel. It keeps her hands up by her face which they say is a more "natural" sleep position for babies and the arms unzip so I can transition her from complete swaddling to just one arm being free at a time.  It's got what are called "whisper zippers" so I can undo one arm without waking her once she is asleep. (Man!  What did they do back in the day to get babies to sleep! :)  It was $40.  It may seem like that's not too much but when you factor in the idea behind the swaddle *that it's only going to be used for the transitional period which, if you do it according to books, should last no more than a week* it's a pretty penny.  But, with the green light from Joe who has been dealing with the brunt of our sleep deprivation, I snatched it up.  And, what do you know... she hates it!  But, I can't return it because she peed in it and I had to wash it.

So, currently we are back to her original swaddle and just slowly trying to teach her how to self soothe while leaving one arm out at a time.

Sometimes she will fall asleep and other times her self soothing has consisted of fake crying for hours.  She did put herself to sleep after 1 1/2 hours of crying but was again awake in 2 hours to cry for another 2 hours before she slept for another hour. 

Last night was better.  Not perfect and we opted to completely swaddle her as she wasn't fighting it and we desperately wanted to get some sleep so, we have a ways to go but down that path we're going to keep on trudging. 

Here's a rare glimpse of one of the only times she has slept without being in her straitjacket, AKA swaddle. 

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