After 10 long months, I finally got to take Quincey to meet her grandma. I knew it would be a bittersweet week with lots of emotions but, I wasn't going to waste one minute getting up to Newcastle to introduce my mom to her newest grand baby.
Even though grandma couldn't talk, couldn't see, and couldn't acknowledge our presence I know that she knew we were there in her spirit.
Dear Quincey,
I want to tell you what it would have been like if you would have met grandma without dementia.
The minute we got there grandma would have been waiting at the top of the stairs. She would have snatched you right up into her arms and held you so tight against her. You would have been able to feel her warm and fierce embrace against you as she swooped you into her arms.
She would have commented on your little curls that are forming and talked about how my hair was the same way when I was little and that she's sure you're going to have my curls. She would have talked incessantly about how cute you are.
She would have loved to have played peek-a-boo with you. She would have played the game until all your giggles had come out. She would have elaborately hid behind the corners in the house and popped out yelling, "peek-a-boo!" loudly in her German accent. She would have grabbed any towel or blanket she could find to throw over her head and finally pop up and out of it in the hopes of making you squeal with delight. She would have done it until every last giggle was captured.
She would have also loved to play chase with you. She would have been on hands and knees with you playing chase around the living room just like you love to do right now. I'm sure you would have heard her complain about her hips hurting but it wouldn't have stopped her. She would have chased you up and down the hallway and all around just as long as she could.
She would have gone on a walk with us out back just like grandpa did. She would have asked endless questions about you through the whole walk.
She would have woken up early in the morning with us every day. You would have seen her walking down the hallway in her ever present bathrobe with hearts on it and sit in her favorite place with her legs crossed commenting on every little cute thing you did.
She would have picked you up to snuggle you any time you came near her. Grandma's snuggles have anyways been the best. She would have snuggled you as long as you would have let her.
She would have read your Brown Bear book to you just as many times as you would have wanted.
She would have been so proud to see your walking feet. She would have been so animated as you stood in the living room taking your steps- loudly encouraging you with every one you took. And, she would have talked non stop about how advanced you are and how smart you are. She would have said over and over, "Man, she is just so smart!" I can hear her right now in my head as clear as day. (She always said this about every single grand baby she had.)
She would have wanted to rescue you with every little cry you made. She would have done anything she could to make you happy.
When Spuddy nipped at you, she would have yelled, "Bill, get that cat out of the house!" and then she would have talked about how much of a nuisance that cat is to begin with. (Although we all know how much grandma loves that silly cat.)
You would have heard her comment on the weather obsessively, every day, fretting about if it was going to be safe enough for us to travel home.
And finally, as we left, you would have seen grandma standing at the window waving until we were completely out of sight.
Quincey, I want you to know that grandma would have adored you.
And, grandma would want you to know that she loves you. She loved you before you were even formed.
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