I think I was probably around 11 years old before I ever attended a funeral. It was my grandfather. Quincey didn't even make it to 1 year old before attending her first one.
It was very sad to watch my mother suffer with dementia for the last six years. As the years went by, more and more slipped from her mind until finally, she no longer knew how to eat or drink. On February 2, 2021 at 3:20pm, her soul left her body.
Quincey,
Grandma was a big worrier. She worried about lots of things but she especially worried about your mama. You see, grandma worried that I would never find your papa and be happy. She would always tell me how badly she wanted me to find the man of my dreams - how much she wanted me to be happy and how much she wanted me to have a family I could call my own. Fortunately, before grandma got too bad, mama met your daddy. A little over 6 years ago, grandma got to meet your daddy and she just loved him! She thought he was amazing. I would go to Newcastle from Sheridan (where you are named after) to visit grandma and we would stay up for hours after grandpa had gone to bed and talk about your daddy. Grandma just thought he was amazing and neither of us could talk enough about him.
Grandma was absolutely thrilled when your dad and I decided to make a go of it. She couldn't remember names very good by then so she would call him "that good lookin' guy". She thought it was Christmas when I would bring papa to see her and she absolutely loved seeing me so happy.
You see Quincey, your dad was the answer to grandma's prayers and the end of much of her worrying for me. I had finally found your dad and was finally happy. Grandma got dementia just a little before I met your dad and I think God knew that, not only would I need your papa to help me through the hard times but, grandma needed papa to alleviate some of her worry.
When I got pregnant with you, I refused to tell anyone until I could tell grandma. I wanted her to be the first to know because, no one besides myself wanted you as much as grandma did. She was thrilled. By that point, she could not quite comprehend all the ins and outs of having a baby or connect all the dots but what she did know is that it was good news and I was happy which made her happy. That was all that mattered anymore.
Grandma was able to participate in your gender reveal party. All the family came together to figure out if you were going to be a boy or a girl and grandma just loved having all her family around. She was a big smile all day. She sat there and soaked it all in. She no longer knew what was happening but again, she knew that all her loved ones were there and they were all happy which filled her with smiles for the whole day. She even wrote on one of the little notes for you. It is not legible but she told Auntie Dessa what she wrote... It says, "Baby Beautiful. Grandma Esther." Even grandma knew how beautiful you were going to be before you were born!
That was the last time I saw grandma able to walk or talk. Those will be memories that I will cherish so closely to my heart. Your papa and you brought some of the final moments of happiness that grandma ever had.
So, you attending your first funeral. February 6, 2021 at 2pm, we went to say goodbye to grandma.
You looked absolutely beautiful for the funeral and, you did an amazing job there. You were quiet and a good girl. Of course you weren't will to sit in the chair for that long so mama's good friend took care of you so I could say goodbye to grandma. And, as soon as it was all over, you promptly fell asleep in mama's arms, just as comfortable as could be.
I wish you could have known grandma but, I think a little of her spirit lives right inside of you.
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